Thursday, December 31, 2009

Day 130/250 A New Day

Ok, let me just say that this has been a rough holiday season. Cookies, candies, and home-made carmels and truffles have won the battle over me. But that was just the battle. They have not won the war...

This week I have really been evaluating myself and my weight loss journey. I am nowhere near where I thought I would be on this trip. I thought I would be on this new path to a healthier place. The fact is, I am at a place that is very familiar to me. The same path I have been on all of my adult life. Still struggling daily with my weight and making poor choices. Still making the easier choice of watching television or playing on the computer instead of exercising. Still cooking what's convenient instead of planning out my meals. I'm needing to do some soul searching.

I truly believe that I have an addiction to food. I think this is one of the hardest battles to win. When someone has a smoking addiction they try to stay away from the cigarettes. When someone has a drinking addiction they stay out of the bars. When someone can't handle gambling or porn or anything that can be addicting, they should remove themselves from that temptation.

With a food addiction it's a different story. You have to eat to stay alive. It feels like telling an alcoholic that he can't drink, but he needs to have just ONE beer a day to stay alive. You can't stay away from food. You can't remove yourself from the temptation.

When you go to the grocery store, you have to walk past the bakery to get to the fresh produce. You can smell the fried chicken from the deli counter while your standing at the seafood counter trying to pick out fresh fish. You have to wade through the bagels and white bread to find something made with whole-wheat. Then while you are waiting in line to pay, you are flanked on both sides by candy bars, sugary drinks, salty nuts, and hard candy. The grocery store is like a battlefield. Land mines and booby-traps at every turn, down every aisle!

So what do I need to do to start losing weight and getting healthy? I have to have my will-power and determination be stronger forces then my love of junk food and inactivity. That simple. Black and white.

I have to get off my butt and watch what I put in my mouth. That simple. Black and white.

I have to burn more calories than I consume. That simple. Black and white.

I have come up with a strategy, a plan if you will, to make this happen. I will be setting concrete goals for myself.

The first step is writing down everything I put into my mouth. Journaling is a proven tool for weight loss.

The next step is exercise. I have tried to figure out when I can squeeze exercise into my schedule. I have decided to sign up for core classes at the YMCA. I will be going to the Y on my way to work in the mornings so there is no excuse that I'm too tired. My first spin class is Monday morning at 6:15 am. I can still be to work by 8:00 am. I figure I get up every Friday already at 4:45 am to go to work, so why can't I do that on other mornings and get in a workout?

I have also ordered The Bodybugg. Have you heard of these? It's the cool little gadget that the contestants wear on The Biggest Loser. It tracks all of your activity and lets you know how many calories you are burning throughout the day. Basically, it's a tool to let you know if you are putting in enough effort for a weight loss. You plug your food into their website for the day, you download the info from your Bodybugg for the day, and if you are staying on track, you should see a calorie deficit for all of your hard work! I LOVE seeing concrete information like that. I am more of a short-term goal person, so I LOVE this idea.

I have also decided to join a challenge at work that starts on Monday. It's like "The Biggest Loser". There are six or seven women that will be weighing in every Monday. We are each putting five dollars into the pot each week. The biggest percentage of weight loss for the week gets half of the pot. This will go on for twelve weeks. At the end of the twelve weeks, the person with the biggest percentage of weight loss overall, wins the rest of the money collected through all twelve weeks. I love a challenge, and I'm just a little competitive, so this should help with the motivation.

All of the tools are at my disposal. I am getting my body, mind, and soul in sync so I can make this happen.

Well, my project for today is to clean out the refrigerator, organize the cupboards, and see what I have on-hand to start the new year. Wish me luck and keep reading my blog. I hope to be posting more often.

-Pam

5 comments:

  1. Love your blog Pam - prayers & good wishes for you!

    I may not look like it, but I have struggled with food addiction all my life, and often would deal with it in very harmful ways.

    I started walking daily a few years back, however have become very lazy recently. I plan to bet back on track - not far, but fast walking on a daily basis.

    Marci

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  2. Pammy, Love the challange at work deal, should be great fun and motivation. I've been using the excercise bike every day now. A few of us walk at Wildwood in nice weather, too. Hang in there you will succeed. Love Ya Maggie

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  3. You are right... journaling is HUGE!! I joined WW online again last week, just because I love the idea of having an online journaling tool and I love the WW point system. It's basically a simplified calories in vs. calories out equation as well.

    Curious... do you take a multivitamin daily? I have found that when I'm disciplined about taking one before bed every night, I seem to do better with my weight loss goals. Just an idea.

    I'm proud of you for getting back on the program and arming yourself with the tools... I did the same last week and I'm excited about it! Just remember... you can eat ANYTHING you want, you just have to watch your portions and account for all of it. Don't deprive yourself, or you WILL feel cheated. Splurge and have that little bite of something you've been craving, but account for it and be at peace with spending 10 or 20 or 30 extra minutes on the treadmill to burn it off. ;)

    Keep it up sister! Love you! C

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  4. Hi Pam! I wanted to finally leave a comment to let you know that I know exactly how you feel. I'm wishing the best of luck to you on this journey! I'm working at it too and it's not easy, but so worth it in the end.

    Suzann from The Olive Cottage
    http://www.suzann-marie.blogspot.com/

    P.S. I have just come across another blog that I think you might find inspiring. http://rediscoveringjetta.blogspot.com/

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  5. Pam...I am so incredibly proud of you. This is the hardest thing I have ever done, but I am so glad I am taking care of this.
    If you ever need anything - you know where to find me. YOU CAN SOOOO DO THIS!!

    Loves,
    Jetta

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