Day 130/250 A New Day

Ok, let me just say that this has been a rough holiday season. Cookies, candies, and home-made carmels and truffles have won the battle over me. But that was just the battle. They have not won the war...

This week I have really been evaluating myself and my weight loss journey. I am nowhere near where I thought I would be on this trip. I thought I would be on this new path to a healthier place. The fact is, I am at a place that is very familiar to me. The same path I have been on all of my adult life. Still struggling daily with my weight and making poor choices. Still making the easier choice of watching television or playing on the computer instead of exercising. Still cooking what's convenient instead of planning out my meals. I'm needing to do some soul searching.

I truly believe that I have an addiction to food. I think this is one of the hardest battles to win. When someone has a smoking addiction they try to stay away from the cigarettes. When someone has a drinking addiction they stay out of the bars. When someone can't handle gambling or porn or anything that can be addicting, they should remove themselves from that temptation.

With a food addiction it's a different story. You have to eat to stay alive. It feels like telling an alcoholic that he can't drink, but he needs to have just ONE beer a day to stay alive. You can't stay away from food. You can't remove yourself from the temptation.

When you go to the grocery store, you have to walk past the bakery to get to the fresh produce. You can smell the fried chicken from the deli counter while your standing at the seafood counter trying to pick out fresh fish. You have to wade through the bagels and white bread to find something made with whole-wheat. Then while you are waiting in line to pay, you are flanked on both sides by candy bars, sugary drinks, salty nuts, and hard candy. The grocery store is like a battlefield. Land mines and booby-traps at every turn, down every aisle!

So what do I need to do to start losing weight and getting healthy? I have to have my will-power and determination be stronger forces then my love of junk food and inactivity. That simple. Black and white.

I have to get off my butt and watch what I put in my mouth. That simple. Black and white.

I have to burn more calories than I consume. That simple. Black and white.

I have come up with a strategy, a plan if you will, to make this happen. I will be setting concrete goals for myself.

The first step is writing down everything I put into my mouth. Journaling is a proven tool for weight loss.

The next step is exercise. I have tried to figure out when I can squeeze exercise into my schedule. I have decided to sign up for core classes at the YMCA. I will be going to the Y on my way to work in the mornings so there is no excuse that I'm too tired. My first spin class is Monday morning at 6:15 am. I can still be to work by 8:00 am. I figure I get up every Friday already at 4:45 am to go to work, so why can't I do that on other mornings and get in a workout?

I have also ordered The Bodybugg. Have you heard of these? It's the cool little gadget that the contestants wear on The Biggest Loser. It tracks all of your activity and lets you know how many calories you are burning throughout the day. Basically, it's a tool to let you know if you are putting in enough effort for a weight loss. You plug your food into their website for the day, you download the info from your Bodybugg for the day, and if you are staying on track, you should see a calorie deficit for all of your hard work! I LOVE seeing concrete information like that. I am more of a short-term goal person, so I LOVE this idea.

I have also decided to join a challenge at work that starts on Monday. It's like "The Biggest Loser". There are six or seven women that will be weighing in every Monday. We are each putting five dollars into the pot each week. The biggest percentage of weight loss for the week gets half of the pot. This will go on for twelve weeks. At the end of the twelve weeks, the person with the biggest percentage of weight loss overall, wins the rest of the money collected through all twelve weeks. I love a challenge, and I'm just a little competitive, so this should help with the motivation.

All of the tools are at my disposal. I am getting my body, mind, and soul in sync so I can make this happen.

Well, my project for today is to clean out the refrigerator, organize the cupboards, and see what I have on-hand to start the new year. Wish me luck and keep reading my blog. I hope to be posting more often.

-Pam

Day 92/250 Sick at home...

The good news is I've lost five pounds in the past two weeks. The bad new is I did it by being sick. Last week I was sick with the flu. Vomiting and diarrhea should not be a weight loss tool....lol. This week I am sick with a sinus thing, very sore throat, and cough. My throat is tender and nothing feels good going down except my warm sugar-free apple cider.

This week is Thanksgiving and the whole gang will be coming over for a meal. I have started preparing already by buying the food. I am substituting a few of my usual dishes with ones that are healthier and lower in calories. My whole family can benefit from the change. It helps to have the support around and to all be looking out for each other.

Last year Ron and I ran a 5K on Thanksgiving morning. The Smoke The Turkey event benefits Hospice of Northwest Ohio and is a great event. I ran it last year in my grandma's memory, as she used their services before she passed away from cancer two years ago. She is greatly missed.

This year I wasn't in good enough shape to even try to run the race...

One of my goals for the upcoming year is to run a 5k before we leave on our trip. We have decided that we are going to go to San Francisco, CA for our anniversary! We will be taking in all of the sites, doing some hiking, and just enjoying our FIRST vacation together, for more than a weekend, without our kids! I WILL be in shape before we leave! Here's the kicker....

We have to move up our vacation because of Ron's vacation schedule and what he was able to take off. We will now be leaving the first week in May, which moves my date up a bit. I now have 250 days total. I had better get over this illness and get my butt moving.....

Starting weight 200....

Current weight 189

Goal weight 155

Day 77/294 No more coffee

Does anyone out there know that I am addicted to coffee? Or should I say WAS addicted to coffee? I have decided to stop drinking coffee (at least for a while) and stop relying on all that caffeine.

It has been five days since my last cup of coffee and I am feeling better already. The first two days were really hard. I am in the habit of making a large travel mug to take to work with me every morning. This is my morning jolt of energy. Instead of a morning jolt, I had a two-day headache.

By day three, the headache was subsiding, but that habit of wanting a hot drink in the morning was not. So I substituted. I found a sugar-free, low-calorie (5 cal.), caffeine-free, Spiced Apple Cider drink mix that I really enjoy. Problem solved. No caffeine high, no dependence, no headaches. It's a win-win. Just one more small change that can have a huge impact over time.

p.s. Did I mention that I am sleeping better?

Day 77/294 New Exercise

Ok, so I need some motivation. I LOVE The Biggest Loser TV show and I always am thinking that I would LOVE to have Bob as my personal trainer. So yesterday, I was browsing around at Walmart and saw The Biggest Loser game for the Wii. Yes, I did an impulse buy and I bought it!

I set the game up today and it was really cool! You get to pick which character you are going to be (I'm Amy...remember her?) and then set weight lose goals, track your calories for the day, and compete against other contestants. Just stay above the yellow line....right? I did the first days worth of exercises and it was really a good workout. I was certainly working up a sweat! I will have my first weigh-in next Saturday....

I am trying to get back in the grove of working out as my weight lose-efforts have stalled. I have only lost five pounds since starting this journey. I can usually do a good job with the eating but I need to get my butt moving too. This program has you working out three times a week to start and I am committing myself to that. It has set a goal for me to lose seven pounds for a four week period. Totally doable if I stick to it.

My next hurdle will be the holidays. I am trying to mentally prepare myself for all of the gatherings, meals, parties, etc. that will be coming up. I just need to be in the right mindset going into it and I should be just fine.

Day 61/294 Exercise...

Exercise. It is the dirtiest word in my language. It makes me frown. I try and make myself do it, but the excuses just keep coming. This week I gave it a shot. Let me tell you what happened...

Tuesday I made myself go to the YMCA and take the cardio kickboxing class that was being offered. I've had this instructor before and I like her class. I felt great after finishing it, although my face was the color of a ripe plum. I was sweaty, felt like I had a good workout, and was feeling good about myself.

Fast forward to Thursday. I dropped the kids off at the Y and was planning on taking the kickboxing class again. I arrived thirty minutes before the class was to start. The instructor was already there and she asked me, "Would you like to try the abs class before kickboxing?"

Now the title of this class is Absolute Abs. Do I think before I speak? No! Why do I speak before I think it through? Still trying to figure that one out....

"Sure!", I say, thinking that my abs could use A LOT of work. So why not an additional thirty minutes before the kickboxing starts? I would do both classes. Sounded good in theory...

I was the only one in the class. The only one. A private workout with a women who's abs I can count in pairs of two. And me, who is carrying about forty extra pounds around the middle. This wasn't going to be pretty.

Five minutes into the class, I was matching my plum shade from earlier in the week. After five minutes, not forty-five. "How can my abs be so weak?", I thought to myself. I was determined to finish. I was not going to quit.

Ten minutes into the class she started modifying things for me. I think my color was scaring her. She would make comments like, "This is usually done with hand weights, but we are going to skip that tonight.", and "Let me know if you can't handle something...we can change it up for you." How embarrassing!

Twenty minutes into the class I was willing the clock to move faster with my mind. I was thinking, "Is this sweat running down my face? or tears? Maybe blood from my eyeballs?!?!?"

When we hit the thirty minute mark I felt like I had just given birth. My legs were shaking like jello, my heart was beating out of my chest, and my mid-section was still big and flabby. Even after completing that marathon.

The instructor then says, "Why don't you go get a quick drink before we start the kickboxing." WHAT? Is she NUTS?!?!? Does she want to have to call 911?

"Thanks anyways.", I tell her. "Maybe Tuesday again. See you next week." UGH!

I then crawl to my car, collapse behind the wheel, and drive myself home. Sitting behind the wheel for the twenty minute drive home didn't help the situation. When I got out of the car I almost fell because of the way my legs were shaking. What a mess...

What did I learn from this? Well, first, I'm proud of myself for finishing the class. Second, there is no way I am doing that class again anytime soon. Third, I learned that I am really in need of exercise. My body is so out of shape and I am doing myself a disservice by not keeping it in working order. Lastly, I am going to continue to exercise on a consistent basis, but not to that extreme. I don't want to discourage myself from doing it at all.

What is the perfect exercise for me? Only time will tell, but I promise I am going to keep plugging along, trying to find out.

Day 48/294 The morning after....

Last night my "baby" cousin Justin was married to a wonderful girl named Julia. The whole wedding was beautiful and the reception was a blast! They showed a slide show of both of them growing up and their lives together up to this point. It had me taking a trip down memory lane this morning as I was drinking my coffee...

I remember the day Ron and I were married. We went to Hocking Hills in southern Ohio. We had both been married before and we weren't concerned with making it a huge ceremony. We wanted it to be for us and for our kids to see how much we meant to each other.

It was a really dreary weekend in May. It rained all weekend and we were to get married on Sunday at Old Man's Cave. We were starting to get worried about all the rain and if we were going to be able to get married outside. We had been camping since Friday with the kids and all of our stuff was wet and soggy and cold. They say rain on your wedding day is good luck, right? That's what I kept telling myself anyways.

My mom and sister and Ron's parents came down for the ceremony on Sunday. The plan was for them to take the kids back home and we would stay one more night alone before returning home on Monday. I just kept worrying about the rain....

About two hours before we were to get married, the sun started to show itself. It was the first time in three days that we had seen some sunshine. We headed to Old Man's Cave and we were going to walk back to the cave to get married. The trail leading back to the cave is paved so we didn't have mud to contend with. Thank God! As I started to look around, I noticed that all of the trees and their leaves were glistening with the rain drops that were still clinging to them. It was so beautiful! The waterfall, which usually is just a drip at that time of year, was actually coming down at a nice stream. We were married in front of the waterfall, with our families there, in the sunshine. I can still remember how fresh everything smelled that day. It was perfect!

That was nine and a half years ago. Ron and I have been through a lot of difficult situations in those years. Life has dealt us some blows. We have lost grandparents, we have had illnesses and surgeries (ourselves and with family), we have been financially strapped, we have had issues with our ex-spouses, we now have three teenagers in our household. Enough said.

Through all of these times we have always stayed strong together. He is truly the love of my life and my best friend. He makes me laugh everyday with his sense of humor. He melts my heart when he looks at me and smiles. He is the person I want to grow old with.

I guess in writing this, I just wanted to say, that no matter what type of wedding you have, the most important part is who you are marrying, not the details of the day. Your wedding day is only the beginning. It is the day your marriage starts. It is the start of your life together and nothing can beat a good, strong marriage. It doesn't matter what is thrown at you. If you are there for each other, you can conquer anything life throws your way.

Last night at the wedding, I could see how much Justin and Julia are in love. My hope for them is that they keep that love and happiness with each other, even through the tough times. I hope they are as happy ten years down the road in their marriage, as I am in mine today.

Congratulations Justin and Julia!

35/294 Days- Upping my spiritual wellness

Ron and I joined a home group this week. If you're not sure what a home group is, let me explain. A home group is a regular gathering of a small number of people, couples, or families that "do life" together. You are all there to support each other, grow in your faith together, and better your community together, all while sharing the message of Christ.

The group we joined meets in Graytown on Wednesday nights. It's at the home of Del and Cindy, whom I met on my mission trip a few weeks ago. They invited us to come over and check it out and that's exactly what we did! We met some really nice people and I was very comfortable with everyone in the group.

Ron and I have been talking about joining a group for a while, but we never found one this close to our home. We are very excited about getting to know everyone better and to experience spending time with other Christians outside of church. We both feel this is just one more step in the right direction. We are trying to have better habits- to be more thoughtful in our decision making as far as how we spend our time and who we hang out with.

Like I said, I want this journey to be a transformation of all aspects of my life. Not just physical, but emotional and spiritual also. I like the steps we took this week....

Day 31/294- Slipping into old habits...

Why is it so easy to slip into old habits? If you know the habit isn't good for you, if you know the results of that habit are not what you want, if you insanely continue to repeat the things that got you to this point and you aren't happy, why do we do it? I'm not sure why habits are so hard to break....

Yesterday I was rushed, tired, running the kids around, and putting everything ahead of myself again. All I wanted to do was get home to watch The Biggest Loser and get my weekly dose of motivation. On the way home though, because I hadn't planned out dinner, I stopped at Walmart to pick up something quick. I let the fifteen year old talk me into getting fresh pizzas and breadsticks from the deli, which we took home to cook. If that wasn't bad enough, after my three pieces of pizza and super-large breadstick, I made ice cream sundaes for myself and Ron WHILE WE WERE WATCHING THE BIGGEST LOSER!!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT PICTURE!!!! If Bob Harper could see through to my living room he would have been highly disappointed. Jillian would have kicked my ass!

I should give an update since I have been at this now for just over a month. I weighed myself yesterday morning and I have lost 4.4 pounds since starting on this journey. It's better than gaining, but I need to step it up a few notches if I wish to succeed at this weight loss thing.

On the exercise front, I found a new resource to help me. I purchased the Gold's Gym Cardio Workout for the Wii. It is a blast! I have done it twice in the past few days for 30 minutes each time. Both times I could feel sore muscles in my arms, abs, and legs the next morning. The best part is, it's really fun and there is a lot of boxing moves involved. What a great way to get rid of some of my stress. I am a punching fool when the music starts. (You get to choose from a variety of music to workout to.) When Eye of The Tiger comes on I am unstoppable...lol.

Next subject...wellness and relaxation. I don't get enough. Period. Planning to get away with the hubby one of these weekends to check out some cool hiking trails or fall foliage. Clear the mind as they say. We both need that and I think it would be a great way to connect with each other. We don't get enough of that bonding time.

One thing we are doing together is joining a home group. One of the couples that I met on my trip live very close. They are great people and have asked us to join their home group. We are going tonight and I am looking forward to it. Usually I don't like meeting a whole group of people I don't know at the same time, but I know a few so it should be fine. What could go wrong in a room full of Christians, right? Ron is willing to meet anyone, at anytime, anyplace. He's much more comfortable with people in that respect. He has never met anyone who wasn't a friend after a five minute conversation. He has a good heart and he is good for my soul.

Well, I am trying to get back into the habit of writing this more regularly. It, also, is good for my soul. I promise I'll be back in the next few days....

-Pam

Day 23/294- Home at last!

Well, I made it home from Honduras in one piece. What a remarkable experience! Our team was able to accomplish our tasks and have a lot of fun along the way.

I was able to make some new life-long friends. Some that live here and some that I had to leave in Honduras. Funny, I usually don't consider myself out-going at all, but on this trip I feel like I really stepped outside of my comfort zone and approach others to talk. Usually I hang back and let others take the lead, but I was really comfortable meeting new people. I guess I had to be. Before I left I knew no one that was going on the trip. I knew no one that was going to be there when I arrived. I really had no choice...lol.

Thank you to all of you that supported me in going on this trip. I really do appreciate the support and love that was felt.

Health update: I weighed myself when I returned from Honduras and it was as I suspected. I didn't lose any weight on the trip. We were served A LOT of carbs this week. Lots of white rice, potatoes, tortillas, and bread. We were advised not to eat any fresh vegetables (because they are washed in the local water) and we could only eat fruit that could be peeled (like oranges or apples). We didn't want to risk getting sick by drinking the local water. We were given bottled water every day and I drank TONS! There were days that I consumed five or six liters of water and just sweated it out. I never gave my kidneys a chance to filter it...lol.

I am not getting myself down over this though. Everyone said there would be water weight gain from the trip and that we would probably lose it within a week or two, so I'm not even stressing about it. My weight was 199.

My body did well during the trip, but I am having problems adjusting back into the American way of eating. My body is protesting. I'm hoping in the next few days things will even out and I will be back at it with the weight loss.

As for now, I'm catching up on work, sleep, and spending time with my family.

Until the next time.....

Pam

Day 12/294-Off to Honduras

Okay, so I've had three offers from people that would like to travel with me this week. I am going to Honduras and let me tell you...there is not a spare inch in my CARRY-ON! Yes, I am living out of a carry-on for nine days.

This one is certainly a change for me. I only packed what was on the list (except for an extra paperback book, because I read fast). I am proud of myself for sticking to the list. I am putting myself in God's hands this week and letting Him show me what He wants me to do. I am really not even that nervous in the dawn of what is to come. I don't know who I am staying with, if they speak English, who I am rooming with, what type of services they may need me for at the medical clinic, or any of it. I feel like I am doing exactly what needs to be done this week in my life. I am going to try and make good choices and soak up every second of the experience while I am there.

I think the hardest part will be being away from Ron and the kids for a whole week. In the ten years that Ron and I have been together, we have never gone more than a day or two without talking to each other and five or six days without seeing each other. I am going to miss him like crazy. I'm not going to have cell service there, but I am hoping to sneak a few emails home if I get the opportunity. I feel like I am going off to summer camp and I am going to be homesick.

Well...the bus is leaving (as my dad would say) and I need to be on it. I will be thinking of all of you and making memories to share when I get back....

Sweet dreams and see you next week.....

Love, Pam

Day 10/294 -Teenagers

Okay, how many of you survived "the teenage years" in your household and lived to tell about it? Seriously, I'd like to know because I need some tips. Most days I am outnumbered 3-1.

Yesterday it was a trifecta with all three of them arguing about something with me. The boys (Keenan and Nate) were going at it at the doctor's office and I had about had it. I wound up leaving there, taking them home and assigning chores for the evening. That made me feel slightly better as I watched Keenan cut the grass and Nate scrub the toilet, but it was short-lived...

Brooke then "tapped in" for her turn with me. I was upset with her because she keeps putting off a two minute job for the past few weeks, that I keep reminding her about. Apparently seventeen year olds have all the answers to all the questions and parents are stupid for even asking them. Why shouldn't I expect attitude back, right? AAARRRGGGHHH! It's enough to send me over the edge and start the stress eating. I am resisting though.

Today I had a better plan. When I got home I said hello to everyone, put the leash on my beautiful dog Blake, and we went for a nice long walk. I finally found someone that appreciates me for just being me (and for walking her...lol). I am going to start walking her more often as part of my fitness plan. She can benefit from the walks as much as I and it is a great stress buster. All is calm tonight in the Overly household....*SIGH*.

Tomorrow I am going for a massage so I should be nice and relaxed for my trip later this week. Where am I going, you ask? I will let you know before I'm gone, but let's just say I won't be able to blog for 9 or 10 days. I'm not sure I will have access to the internet where I'm going...

I'll keep you guessing until next time...

-Pam

Day 7/294 of My Health Journey

Well, today was the official first weigh-in day. I was a little scared when I had to step on the Wii. Yes, that's how I weigh myself. I figured its a pain to set up each time so I won't be stepping on it everyday. I had a problem with that when I had a bathroom scale. I was stepping on it all the time and was at the point of being obsessed. One day, Ron told me I should just smash it or get rid of it because I never liked what it said.

Well, that's exactly what I wound up doing with it one day. I took it out into the backyard, set it on the sidewalk, got a sledge hammer out of the garage, and beat the hell out of it. HAH! It had no control over me any longer. It felt so good! And of course, my neighbors probably thought I was nuts!

This was probably a year ago and I haven't really weighed myself regularly since then. Which brings me back to stepping on the Wii balance board this morning to get a current weight....

I am happy to report I weighed in at 2.4 pounds less than last week. WOO-HOO! I now weigh 198.0. Good-bye 200's. I will never see you again. It wasn't a perfect week, but I felt like I did a good job overall and that's what it's all about. I was able to fit in two days of exercise and I followed my diet closely. We even went out to eat twice and I tried to make good choices at the restaurants.

I also want to talk about the wedding shower I went to today. My cousin Justin is marrying Julie in October and the shower was today. I was able to make good food choices, had a great time with family, and even got some shopping done at the farmer's market on the way (can you say fresh locally grown produce?). What a great afternoon!

Well, I'll be back tomorrow with more thoughts. Keep reading...

Until then, Pam

Day 5/294 of My Health Journey

I'll get my complaining out of the way right off the bat and clear my head. This has been one of the worst weeks I have ever had a work. I can't believe it is only Thursday. One more day to go and I am looking forward to the weekend (which I may have to work if anyone calls in).....SIGH....

Okay, now I feel better....on to the good stuff.

So I spent some time tonight at Michael's with my daughter Brooke shopping for an art box. I started looking around at all the fun stuff they have to do in there and thought to myself, "Why don't I start a project? That will keep my hands busy when I want to reach for food." I checked out all the different yarns they had in stock and decided to buy a really soft skein that has different shades of blues and grays. Very pretty. I am going to start on a scarf for my co-worker Linda. I am thinking it will be her Christmas present so I will have some time to get it done. She has taught me a lot about the job since I started working with her in January. I'm thinking a homemade gift will be much better than a gift card or something.

So I'm thinking this project will kill two birds with one stone....one Xmas gift down and something to keep my hands out of my mouth for the next few months.

When I was looking at all the things to do at Micheal's I started thinking, " When did I give up on being creative? Maybe I should channel some of the activities I used to do when I was younger. All the stuff I really enjoyed like art classes at the Art Museum, dance lessons, playing an instrument. I mean I spent years playing in band and I think I would have a hard time reading music at this point. I used to love taking pictures and working with photography stuff. Where did all that go?

I was talking to Ron (my husband) last night. He made a comment about how I don't have many friends. At first I was pissed. But after thinking about it, he wasn't too far off the mark. I have been putting everyone else in front of myself my whole life. I have always done for others and I guess that doesn't leave much time for myself. Not much time to nurture friendships, not much time to enjoy the things I like to do, or used to like to do as the case may be. I know it's a good thing to have a servants heart, but I am figuring out I need to balance it with things I am doing for myself. If I am depleted of energy, if I don't recharge myself, if I don't keep my cup full, how can I possibly fill someone else's cup? I have nothing of myself left to give....right?

So we started talking about signing up for a dance class....I don't know if this is actually going to happen, but I'm at least thinking of getting out there and doing something for me. It's the first tiny step in this long journey.....

Until next time, Pam

Day 3/294 of My Health Journey

So today was a new day at work and it went much better than yesterday. I was able to leave by 3:30 pm and I thought... "What a great day to take Keenan for a haircut before school starts on Thursday. I think I'll get one too." What a mistake...We both left not liking our haircuts. I wanted mine shorter for an upcoming trip and shorter is what I got. YIKES! This one will take a long time to grow out. On the plus side I probably lost 1-1/2 pounds of hair weight...lol.

I was able to get in exercise today. I needed to drop off a prescription at Rite-Aid so I walked instead of driving. I'm guessing it was 2 miles or so. I will probably measure it in my car the next time I have to drive that way. I figured it was exercise with a purpose (not like all the health benefits aren't the real purpose...lol).

Well, not much to post today. Four more days until my Saturday weigh-in. I'm actually looking forward to it.

Sweet Dreams....Pam

Day 2/294 in My Health Journey

Okay, let me start by saying that today was one of the worst work days I've had in my professional career as a nurse. My job today did not involve nursing care, it involved detective work, counseling, disciplinaries, and more, and finally ended after a miserable 11 hours. Thank God for the other supervisor I work with...we were in it together today. What's the saying?..... Misery loves company?

Here is the highlight of my day...my one shining star. I was able to stay on track eating. I wrote down all my food, I didn't drink any pop. There was no stress eating happening! Even with the bag of miniature candy bars that the other supervisor decided we needed to share....I resisted!

I don't think I am going to get my walk in tonight, but I did walk for 30 minutes after I posted last night. I will fit in three nights of exercise this week! I have to, because.......(drum roll please)......

My sister has asked me to run in a 5K with her at the end of October. What a great motivator and a way to get my butt moving! I ran/walked a 5K last November and was proud of myself for doing that. I am going to look up my time for that race and see if I can beat it by at least a minute! I ran that one in memory of my grandma, Marie LaCourse, who we lost to cancer the year before. I wish she were here to follow me on this journey. I know she is looking down at me and smiling right now from heaven. Love you Grandma!

Well, I'm going to close it out tonight with one of my favorite quotes. I have this posted at work and it seems fitting on this journey....... Nothing is particularly hard if you break it down into smaller steps. -Henry Ford

Until tomorrow......Pam

Day 1 /294 of My Health Journey

Hello All,

I am a 40 year old woman who has decide to take charge of my life, my unhealthy eating habits, and my lazy ways. My husband and I are planning a vacation next summer and I would like to be in the best shape of my life for the event.

I have been heavy my entire adult life and I am a little scared to "peel back the layers" and discover the person that lies beneath. Will I have more confidence? Will I be more outspoken? Will I still struggle and feel bad every time I eat something I know isn't good for me? Will I stop feeling like the fat girl in the room, even when I'm not always the heaviest? Will my husband desire me more? Will I love myself more? Will I be a happier person?....

Let me give you some cold hard facts. I currently weigh 200 pounds (as of yesterday), I am 5'5", and I am clinically obese. I have a compressed disc in my lower back that discourages me from exercising. That's always my excuse anyways. I am also on Zestril, a anti-hypertension medication, due to my high blood pressure. These are statistics that I will be changing.

My goal weight is to be 150 pounds (and have a healthy BMI) by the time we leave for our trip. We are leaving in approximately 294 days. That's 42 weeks and 50 pounds to go. I figure I have a healthy goal of losing 1 to 1-1/2 pounds per week by the deadline. How do I plan on doing this, you ask? Let me tell you my game plan....

First, accountability. I am putting this out there for anyone that would like to follow my journey and watch me succeed. I am becoming accountable to all of you.

Second, Lifestyle changes. I am going to make small changes each week hoping they add up for a huge impact. I am already on the right track in that I don't smoke or drink alcohol, but there are other things I do that hamper my weight loss efforts. (More on that later...)

Third, exercise. No more excuses. Do I think my body will be better off just sitting around watching movies or actually getting up and engaging in some sort of activity? No brainer, right?

And lastly, inspiration. My mom lost tons of weight a few years back and has kept it off. My sister just lost 40-50 pounds over the last year or so for her wedding earlier this month. These people have the same genes I do. If they can do it, I can too! I am using my sister as my inspiration. She has a full-time job, has three boys (and a new husband) to take care of, commutes 30 minutes to work and back everyday, drives her boys to their sporting events, and still finds time to work on herself. She has made herself a priority. Let me tell you this...she looked BEAUTIFUL on her wedding day! She was GORGEOUS in her wedding gown! When I saw the pictures I saw a happy, confident woman. She looks at peace with her life....

I also saw myself in the pictures. I was the matron-of-honor...the only attendant standing up for her.....and I looked huge. What a shock! I thought the dress was pretty (and it was) but I wasn't happy with the person that was looking back at me in those pictures. I literally cried when I saw them. Big tears running down my big cheeks at how large I looked! I couldn't believe that I looked like that. I vowed right there to my husband that I was going to make a change. Lots of changes.....and this brings me to today.

Okay, the changes for the first week will be this....

#1....No pop at all. I am cutting it out of my diet. I am giving up diet pop also. I just don't care for the taste of it, so why bother?

#2...Exercise at least three times this week. I am going to write this into my day planner so I can schedule it the same way I would a meeting at work.

#3....Keep a food journal. I will right down everything that enters my body starting tomorrow morning. I've done this one before and it is really helpful to keep track of my calories.

#4....I will commit to weighing myself every Saturday morning and posting the results.

Well, I think that's enough for today....I will try to post regularly to keep myself accountable. Thanks for sharing in this journey with me....

-Pamela