Happy New Year 2013!!!

Happy New Year to all my friends and family!  I haven't posted in almost a year.  Have you wondered where I've been?  Well, its been an interesting year....

On Sunday, at church, our pastor asked us if we could use one word to describe our past year.  I had a word pop into my head instantly...NEUTRAL!  I didn't go backwards in any area, but I sure wasn't moving forward either.  It was a year of coasting. A year of low expectations for myself.  No really big personal disappointments, but on the flip side, no really big accomplishments, either.


There were highlights in 2012....

Keenan graduated from high school and started college this fall at The University of Toledo.

Nathan started his last year of high school and swimming faster than ever for the Comets.

Brooke has an A average in her second year of graphic design school, while maintaining her own place, working part-time, and having time for a boyfriend.

Ron and I ran in The Warrior Dash for the first time and both completed it!

I ran in three 5K races over the summer, improving my time with each one.



There were also low-lights this past year...

My grandma had to move from my house to a nursing home after falling and breaking her hip.

Ron's work schedule continually changes, which makes it hard to plan anything in advance.  He hasn't been able to attend many of Nathan's swim meets, which is hard on him (and Nathan).

I have had issues with my hip/ lower back and have been dealing with pain because of these issues.


There are also things happening that are just...there.  Things that have been on the back burner. Things I can't make a decision about, but need to....

Returning to school to finish my bachelor's degree?
Returning to work full-time?
Returning to work part-time?
Staying in a resource position at Sunshine?
Losing this extra weight that I've been carrying for years?
Exercising on a consistent basis so I can see results?
Starting a business?
Changing careers entirely?
Starting a life group at our home?
Committing to a Bible Reading study?
Making a game plan for the home improvements we keep talking about?


What is it that keeps me from setting a goal, breaking it down into reasonable steps, and actually completing the goal?  I'm not sure.  I'm a thinker, not a doer, I guess.

I can think of 100 different ways to lose weight and could probably teach a class on it, if asked.  So why, in my head, is it so hard to commit to just doing it?  Why can't I love myself enough to take that responsibility and do this for myself.

I don't want my word of the year to be NEUTRAL again, in 2013.  I want to look back on 2013 and be able to say that it was a forward progress year.  Stay tuned for some upcoming goals I have laid out for myself.  This may be the year I surprise everyone...

Looking for the good... in a bad situation

The past two weeks have really been a test for me!   I was ill with an upper respiratory infection and required antibiotics.  After three days of suffering, I was starting to feel better and wouldn't you know it...my grandma lost her balance and took a hard fall.  Seven paramedics, one policeman, a backboard, and a long trip to the emergency room later.....she had broken her hip.  Surgery followed the next day with a four day stay in the ICU post-op.  She had a rough few days with hallucinations and breathing difficulties.

As soon as she started doing better, on Sunday, I took a few hours off to attend a church service.  During the service I stood up and threw out my back!  Monday resulted in another doctor visit with pain killers, muscle relaxants, and steroid prescriptions in my pocket.  Three more days flat on my back with the heating pad and medication and worrying about my grandma in the hospital.  Yesterday she was moved to a rehab facility (with my mom overseeing everything the past few days..THANK YOU MOM) where she will stay until she is stronger.  The goal is to have her return to my house to live.

What a rough two weeks!  Is this a test from God?  I am still processing all that has happened, but have come to the conclusion that everything happens for a reason.  If my grandma had to fall, I am thankful it was at my house and not my parents.  I went into nurse mode checking her over and I think my parents would have had a hard time had she been at their house.

I'm thankful that we were home when she fell and were able to get her medical attention as soon as it happened.  She often stayed by herself for hours at a time and that would have been awful if she would have laid there without being able to get help.

I'm thankful there are others that were able to help with her while I was ill and couldn't.  All of my aunts and uncles, parents, sister, brother-in-law, and husband pitched in so that she had someone with her at the hospital.  We have a huge family and everyone was willing to help.  This incident even brought my estranged aunt to the hospital to help sit with my grandma.  I hadn't seen her in almost three years and it was good to see her.  I wish more of the family would have been there to see her....maybe someday.

So even though it has been a rough two weeks, I am looking for the good in the situation.  I am trying to be a glass half-full kind of person.

I am grateful for my health (yes, I'm feeling better), and I am grateful for my family.  Thank you, God, for both of these things....

Working My Way Up From the Valley

So two weeks ago, I was following Weight Watchers like a person possessed. I worked out everyday, logged all of my food, and completed a challenge that my friend Diana had thrown down for me.....and I lost 5.6 pounds at weigh-in! It felt fabulous! Right on track for the new year.

Two days later, my 92 year-old grandmother moved in with us. Once again, I used a change in my routine as an excuse to not do what I should be doing for MY health. I haven't logged my food, I haven't exercised in ten days, and I skipped my WW meeting so I could get her ready in time for an event we were attending. I put others in front of myself...again.

Now, I don't blame anyone for this. I made the decision to have her move in here. I WANT her to be here. I'm just not doing too well prioritizing MY health. My grandma has just turned into the latest excuse I am using to sabotage myself, again, in my weight loss efforts.

How do I get past the mental block I have? How do I break this addiction to food? How do I get myself to enjoy exercise? I'm still working all that out. I guess for now, I will ask God for guidance and take it one day at a time...and have a healthy salad for lunch.